Good Christian relationship

1. 
   
2. FOR WIVE
3. Be secure in yourself and your marriage. Plan to have family worship and quiet time with Christ worshiping God and developing your walk in Christ. Be sure to study the Bible and to praise God for your opportunities and for giving you your very life. The life of JOY is based on loving Jesus, Others and then Yourself... J.O.Y.--Yourself is "last but not least," as you are"to love others as you love yourself." So love yourself as much as you love others and then you have the winning concept straight from Christ! This also means do not try to control your husband or other people. It also means you will not judge wrongly or harshly and you will forgive yourself and others.
4. 2
   Learn to pray fervently and effectively and stay in a habit of attending church regularly with your husband or alone (with girlfriends) if necessary. Pray for each other. Pray together and pray without ceasing by honoring Christ in all you do and say... Our lives are in Christ and His physical life on this earth is now in us. He is "at the right hand of the Father in Heaven where He is always making intercession for us."
5. 3
   You can have a long, happy Relationship by being cheerful, positive and confident.Criticizing and putting yourself down to your husband or in front of him in public is a way of insulting his taste in women. Realize that if he is with you, it's because he chose you and wants to be with you. He finds you sexy enough even if you don't feel like you are, so be there for him. Remember that attitude and willingness are important parts of feeling and being sexy. Poor self-esteem leaves a hole in your life that is terrible for your marriage. Make sure you continue to have fun and help each other have an interesting life together, not just trying to control him with teasing about fun.
6. 4
   Imagine: "What if your husband or wife is gone tomorrow?" will you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month, your special church group that you go to, full days and busy evenings? If you were not whole, your husband would have always been working to fill a hole in your life. Well, it's one that he won't ever fill, and you might both feel inadequate and unhappy if you can't keep yourself up with friends and family as well as busy and cheerful serving Christ.
7. 5
   Express your needs clearly, but don't accuse each other. Except in case your husband reads minds, don't expect your husband to just know what you want. If you want or need something, ask and discuss it together. Don't just drop hints and figure that he'll get it and "come around" withoutcommunicating calmly, clearly and directly. If something is wrong for you, say so. Christian friendships and relationships work best when each partner calmly expresses their current emotion without harping on what the other did. Frequently, a "I feel confused" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored (or insulted)." Let "I feel" be your key word. Avoid saying "you"--as in "you made me sad." Take responsibility for your own feelings.
8. 6
   
   Don't expect him or her to give you your dreams. He needs to keep trying to do well, and you need to keep trying also, but neither of you will ever be perfect. Unsatisfied expectations frustrate everyone. However, if you both continue to work on your marriage, you will always be involved in each others lives, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high, very idealistic or unrealistic, you should set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions, have the love of your life at home; staying home; having home cooking at every meal versus going out to eat instead. Also, should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled with some effort and sharing some cooking and house chores as much as possible, especially if both work outside the home.
9. 7
   Pick your battles. Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how you want the dishwasher loaded--the "the right way". Let him do such things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is more important and don't be a complainer. Maybe explain the theory as you show him how you believe it needs to be done one time and then leave it alone. "Wives, place yourselves under your husbands' authority as you have placed yourselves under the Lord's authority."(Ephesians 5:22) but only so far as he is not doing crimes, is not cruel and actually abusive (not the blame game...) to you, the children or other persons.
10. 8
    Encourage your husband in the Lord to do as the bible says: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it."(Ephesians 5:25) If your husband is not showing love do not demand attention or affection. Just ask cheerfully for some help and pick a time to give a playful or sexy hug and kiss: he may respond well, if he's not angry--or unless it is not the right place and time. Help him to feel comfortable in showing affection without it always leading to sex, sort of praise courtesy and kindness by showing that you are thrilled by his attention; smile, giggle and say something like "flattery will get you everywhere," and try"playing tag" sometimes or playing "keep away;" having fun--and be alluring and a little bit coy.
11. 9
    
    Keep your life interesting. Nurture them both.
12. 10
    
    Accept him and especially his little mannerisms and habits. Accept him as he is, so that you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change for you. He has so much to offer you if you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you.
13. 1. FOR HUSBAND
    2. Be romantic. What "being romantic" means varies widely from person to person, but at its core, romance involves doing something to express affection in a meaningful yet unexpected way. A true act of romance requires creativity and sincerity, often inspired by love (either its presence or its possibility).
       
       
       • Reintroduce the excitement that characterized the beginning of the relationship. Do something different, something that your wife wouldn't expect. The more out of the ordinary, the better!
       • Treat your wife like they're single, like you're trying to earn her affection and trust. The opposite of being romanced is being taken for granted. No one wants to feel like they've already been "caught" and it's over and done with.
       • There are millions of ways to say "I love you" and "I'm lucky to have you." Think of the world as your medium. You can write it, say it, sculpt it, look it, hide it, shout it, paint it, kiss it, fold it, grow it, touch it, and express it in unlimited ways.
    3. 2
       Keep your life invigorated. Kiss her goodbye in the morning like you don't want her to leave. It gives her something to think about all day. Be romantic. Suggest new ideas. Ask what she likes. Be willing to put her pleasure ahead of yours. Talk about it. Let her know it is much more than just sex. Intimacy (emotional and physical closeness) is important to women. Don't use sex to apologize. Apologize first, then see what happens!
    4. 3
       Be honest. In a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit them let them know, otherwise they will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if they ask you if you like something they are trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let them know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favourite so far because it shows off their great (insert a feature you appreciate, preferably not one that they are self-conscious about). It's not going to be easy to be honest and kind at the same time, so focus on learning how to give a feedback sandwich and you'll both be better off.
    5. 4
       Don't brush your wife off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of people have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially when it happens without you giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your mate is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because they wouldn't let you do something that they felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
    6. 5
       Communicate. Do not talk her ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, she is made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to her. If you ask her a question, ask because you really want to know. For example, ask her what type of movies she enjoys, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why she might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, your mate will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try. Remember, the opposite of talking is not waiting, it's listening. Make sure you're actually listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Put off a vibe that tells her that she can tell you anything. Make her feel safe.
    7. 6
       Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to her when you are out window shopping, and if there is something she likes, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise her with it when she least expects it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell her you were thinking of her when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know she will like, or a CD of her favourite band are nice gestures.
    8. 7
       Be her greatest supporter. Be someone she knows that she can always count on. Be there for her when she has had a long day. Listen to her with attentive eyes and ears. Back her up "100" percent! And always protect her, both physically and emotionally. If you have done something to hurt her, even if you didn't mean to, tell her you are sorry and show her affection. This must be sincere! There's nothing worse than an "I'm sorry" that is put on or phoney.
    9. 8
       Understand that your personal relationship should be more important to you than your other family members, work, friends etc. She is your partner in all things. Treat her as such. If you're worried about looking independent in front of them, then talk with your wife and set clear expectations about what decisions you can make without each other, and what decisions must absolutely be discussed. But also, ask yourself why you feel you should look independent instead of married. It may not be hard to say "Let me talk this over with my other half".
    10. 9
        Do your part. Don't make her ask you to pull your own weight around the house. This makes her feel like a nag, and it creates an adult/child relationship. Which is never good. She is your partner not your mother. Show her she can count on you to get things handled.
    11. 10
        Don't show her even the mildest forms of contempt. Contempt is poison in a relationship. You don't have to act like you like what she said or did, but do not take on an attitude of superiority, even subtly in passing, such as momentary smirking, sighs of disgust or eye-rolling. Such gestures, though seemingly insignificant, deeply show a lack of support, respect and trust, especially over a period of time. The way you naturally act towards her should subtly validate her as a person, even when you do not understand or agree with her. Giving eye contact when she has something important to tell you shows respect; not giving eye contact shows disrespect and that you don't care about her or what she has to say. This will destroy any attempt to communicate well.
    12. 11
        Seek responsibility and take responsibility for your actions. The main difference between a man and a boy, and adult and a child, is that men are responsible. Men honor their commitments, accept their duties and are accountable for damages they incur, debts they owe and claims they make. Men clean up after themselves (figuratively and literally). Men know that anyone can father a baby but only a man who understands and accepts responsibility can be a good father. Men refuse to make anyone do anything they themselves are unwilling to do. Sometimes men make sacrifices for the people they love and care about. That's life. It's part of growing up, whether you like it or not. The difference between a man and a boy is that a man steps up to the plate, while a boy hesitates or complains.